Dietary Restrictions Realist T-Shirts

I'm allergic to cookie dough and I'm lactose intolerant, but I appreciate the thought. Thanks. -S. Claus.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"First, do no ham."

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

''Usually drunk with pizza.' Hey, so am I!'

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

Instagram!!!

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

How's the diet going? - 'The first 8 minutes has been tough.' - 'How come?' - 'I had to skip my pre-mid morning post-mini-brunch snack.' - 'I don't think I can take it anymore...' - 'Hang in there, big guy...' -

"Still fat."

'And ask the chef to run his blender as he cooks that steak. My doctor has put me on a liquid diet.'

Anorexic flora.

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"I'm giving up chocolate for lent."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

The Sprats

'Do you have something that's good for you, but tastes like it's bad for you?'

Gluten-free area.