Dietary Preference Defender Prints

"With religion and politics off the table, the only thing left to argue about is gluten."

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Boy defends his last fry.

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"First, do no ham."

Diet Cud

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

'The nation is evenly divided again...the red states, Atkins Diet...the blue states, South Beach.'

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

"Hey, honey. Are we ona diet again?"

"Try to get more exercise."

"The feeding of the fad thousand"

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"