Dietary Ironist T-Shirts

"Do you have anything that looks vegan, but is made from meat?"

"A varied and well-balanced diet is vital to healthy and stress-free living�"

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

Body by Jake

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"I do diet...between snacks."

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Diet Cud

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'I had the same thing for lunch.'