Dietary Experiences Pillows

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Is the MSG local?"

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"We succumbed to your hype."

'How was the squid?'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

A London gent abroad

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"You were right-we should have just split one."

Nutritional Supplements.

Please Wait and wait and wait.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

Odd Spas

'I have a thing about Italian food-my wife has a thing about Italian waiters !'

Our Troubled Chowders

'You made me jump,'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"We've gone glutton-free."

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Prosecco Drinker

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

'Someplace where we just eat, eat, eat!'