Diet Warrior T-Shirts

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'I finished the whole months' diet in just five days!'

"Get off the fridge Kitty. I'm blowing the doors open."

"I've been trying to diet, but it's been up and down and up and down..."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

'Are you JOKING? There's a triple chocolate cheesecake in there!'

'You can have the cherry...I'm on a diet.'

Woman hugs a refrigerator before jumping off lovers leap.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

All Natural Nothing

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

To do before Saturday...

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Valleyview diet clinic

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'