Anti-fad Diet Warrior T-Shirts

Gluten Cafe - For the rest of us.

Fast Food Dieter

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'Relax! I just read somewhere that 142 pounds is the new 125!'

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

The cake diet.

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

Healthy Eating Fast

'You can have the cherry...I'm on a diet.'

Cow and Pig see 'Staff' logo reflected and read it as 'Fats'.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

How's the diet going? - 'The first 8 minutes has been tough.' - 'How come?' - 'I had to skip my pre-mid morning post-mini-brunch snack.' - 'I don't think I can take it anymore...' - 'Hang in there, big guy...' -

Weight Loss Center on top of huge stairway used to get to the top.

'You are not losing weight! Put down the knife and fork and pick up the dumbbells!'

The end of hibernation.

'Here's your diet -- notice the two-minute warning.'

'Uh... did you say you are on a lead diet?' 'Dude... it's all natural!'