Diet Seeker Mugs

Diet plan of the gods

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Did I get this right? Sitting on the PC with beer and crisps made you fat, and that's why you're sitting on the PC with beer and crisps now, looking for a diet?!'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

All Natural Nothing

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

"I do diet...between snacks."

Diet Cud

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'