Diet Diversity Explorer T-Shirts

Good cop, bad cop

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"Cardiac day patients?"

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"We've gone glutton-free."

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

Fast food trap.

"I'm all for having a cheat day while dieting. However, you may be taking it a bit too far."

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

"I'm worried that not everyone knows I'm a vegan!"

Bar None

"I know... everybody just assumes I'm a vegetarian."

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'