Diet Dilemma Grappler Pillows

'I'm on a one month diet... So far I've lost 14 days...'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

'Excellent napkin.'

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

Fast food trap.

Healthy Eating Fast

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

'You were right, doc. Blood is thicker than water.'

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

Innovate - man boobs and gut bra.