Diet Detractor T-Shirts

'I believe in living life to the fullest.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

To do before Saturday...

Critisize your weight.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Diet considerations.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Attack of the 'health' foods

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."