Diet Detractor T-Shirts

'I believe in living life to the fullest.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Critisize your weight.

To do before Saturday...

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"