Diet-conscious Planners T-Shirts

'You can rest assured that our 'diet conscience' fund invests only in low-fat, low cholesterol food companies.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Fat man on scales.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'