Diary Enthusiasts Pillows

"Dear Diary, you won't believe what I came upon in the woods today – a Bobcat!"

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Professional woman in pub

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

'Lost Diary'

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Biological Cuckoo clock

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Ostrich Bar

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

Romantic Coffee Dates

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I had half a date last weekend."

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

Person talks on phone as other blogs.