Diaper Dynamo Pillows

"I would use less pressure when massaging the baby's abdomen."

'I get that a lot.'

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

"They look so young and helpless."

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

'sugar and spice my eye.'

Out of patience

'That never gets old.'

Googoo

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

Free Hugs

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

Parenting magazines.

"Would you like free or expensive water?"

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

"Allow me to introduce our new head of logistics and international 'just in time' deliveries!"

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

Weightlifter

"My, oh, my! What a fascinating guy you are, Vincent! But now, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like you to take my order."

"He's got great velocity, but he really needs to work on his trajectory."

'This your dog, buddy?!'

"We're currently cruising at an altitude of 3 feet and an airspeed of 28mph..."

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

'And do you, Rex, promise not to take sides?'