Diaper Dynamo Pillows

"I would use less pressure when massaging the baby's abdomen."

'I get that a lot.'

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

"They look so young and helpless."

Out of patience

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'That never gets old.'

Googoo

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

Parenting magazines.

"Would you like free or expensive water?"

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

"Allow me to introduce our new head of logistics and international 'just in time' deliveries!"

"My, oh, my! What a fascinating guy you are, Vincent! But now, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like you to take my order."

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"

Weightlifter

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"He's got great velocity, but he really needs to work on his trajectory."

'This your dog, buddy?!'

'And do you, Rex, promise not to take sides?'

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Beanz meanz Repeatz.

'Joe Louis was right - you can run, but you can't hide.'

'This pitcher throws screwballs. Better hand me my 'special' bat.'