Diaper Dilettante T-Shirts

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

Macho Vegetarian

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

The Salvador Deli

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"Column A are things they said would kill you ten years ago but are now considered totally good for you. Column B are things they currently think will kill you."

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need more greens and less alchohol.'

The singles bar...

'Honey, I put 500.000,- into chocolate manufacturer stocks and now the share price went down... would you please stop your diet?'