Dialect Aficionado Prints

An Englishman and a Scotsman.

Changing Minds

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Staff Yearbook

'Do it write the first time.'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"They're home...the party's over!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump compare penis size.

Proof Reading

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

Latest Aye Phone

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

Scouse For Beginners

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

Spellng Bee

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'