Diagnosis Dilettante T-Shirts

Nope, that's not what you have either! Man, you stink at 20 questions!

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'House wine?'

Macho Vegetarian

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'Should I buy or sell?'

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

The singles bar...

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Column A are things they said would kill you ten years ago but are now considered totally good for you. Column B are things they currently think will kill you."

'Honey, I put 500.000,- into chocolate manufacturer stocks and now the share price went down... would you please stop your diet?'

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

M.D. Robotics. Oil. Stop downloading so many cookies.