Diagnosis Detailer Pillows

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Disease Management

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

The Devil's in the detail!

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Covid Music

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Lyme Disease Research Lab

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

Micro and Macro Department,

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

R. Gillespie, M.D., specialist in whatever disease is hot at the moment.

Flu Vaccine.

Criminal Germs

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

'I had this two years ago.'

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."