Diabetes Specialist Pillows

'Katie Couric makes my blood sugar spike.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Chez Nous Menu

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

Desert Dermatologist

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."