Devil-may-care Attitude Pillows

'Global warming is having a positive effect here. For the great number facing our already hot, hot temperatures...these will now be getting hotter and hotter!'

They couldn't Convince Jimmy, the Smoke-Detector Salesman, that he hadn't gone to Heaven

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Snow Devil

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

Route 666

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

'We want you to take the hindmost.'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

Whatever!

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

'Let me guess - a toastmaster?'

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'

"You had me at hell."

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

This is where Brent council sends you

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

'Just be patient. Greed always makes a come back.'

"Wow! If global warming goes on it will cut our heating costs by 12 percent!"