Detective Fiction Aficionado Gifts

"Why Sergeant O'Brien! You startled me."

Detective Honky

A detective selling a copy of Sherlock Holmes.

"There'll be no shortage of suspects, sergeant, the victim composed plaintive piano music for TV documentaries."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot - Part Three

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

Diary of a DNA Cop

Fake Counterfeit Money

Crime Writer's Society.

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

Arrest of La Tuta

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"Any clues?"

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

Marriage Crash Investigation

Edgar Wallace.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

"The butler did it!"

"He was a top boy - he could light up a room just by setting fire to it."

Agatha Christie

Mr Potatohead in the witness protection program.

Holmes and Watson: Solutions Solutions