Destruction Comedy Fan Pillows

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Non-Drip ?

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

'It's an old work injury.'

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

"At least my putting has improved."

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

'Quick! The NINE iron!!'

'The builder is behind schedule but my lease was up at my previous location.'

'You're lucky-you've the knees for it.'

Scaffolding team watching TV.

"Just going to do a spot of D.I.Y. dear!"

"Ooh...this looks like fun. I could do with a good giggle!"

'Nah, I think your one should be called hand egg.'

Zero to sixty in two seconds.

'I can see the sea!'

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

"... Till death us do part."

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

"Stop, don't move - I've dropped a contact lens"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 6

"So apart from the minor hiccup...how was your cruise?"