Destruction Comedy Fan Pillows

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Non-Drip ?

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

"At least my putting has improved."

'It's an old work injury.'

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

'Quick! The NINE iron!!'

'The builder is behind schedule but my lease was up at my previous location.'

'You're lucky-you've the knees for it.'

Scaffolding team watching TV.

"Ooh...this looks like fun. I could do with a good giggle!"

"Just going to do a spot of D.I.Y. dear!"

'Nah, I think your one should be called hand egg.'

Zero to sixty in two seconds.

'I can see the sea!'

Construction workers building a library are all saying, 'shhh, shhh' to each other.

"So apart from the minor hiccup...how was your cruise?"

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 6

"Stop, don't move - I've dropped a contact lens"

'When the fire department arrives, Ms. Lilly... send them right in!'