Dessensualantionalist T-Shirts

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

Have I told you lately that I love you

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Attic of hopes and dreams...

"I want a pony!"

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

'She won't go anywhere without her Teddy Bear...'

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

Ned and Phylis think back to the days when they didn't have much money and they were poorly drawn.

"I'm sure it's illegal to pose as a police officer"

"That must be Java Man!"

'Sleaze, please.'

Abstract painter

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."

Academics At the Beach

"Four o'clock, dear. 'Sesame Street.'"

Time Out Room

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

Forbidden love.

A man is tied to a chair and forced to watch TV news.

"Siri, how do I build a cabin with no freakin' tools?"

"Mr. Jerry Springer - have I got something for you!"

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.

'I'm going to really miss you next year, Harold.'