Despot Witticism Appreciator Pillows

Vlad the Inhaler

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Touché"

'Warren buffett invests only in things he understands...my view is that politicians should regulate only things they understand!'

"We pay the living dead wage."

Witty T-Shirt Guy

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

Assasination Attempt on Tsar Alexander II

Scale indicates the value of books.

'Yes, we made something better than sliced bread and built a better mousetrap, but maybe R&D needs new blood.'

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Frederick Robinson

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

Black plague swab testing

'I'm a little worried about the dedication to His Satanic Majesty, Bishop.'

Damnation without relief means there is no Ladies Room.

"There wasn't enough money to leave a note to say there wasn't enough money."

Earl Grosvenor Criticises Liberal Reform Bill

'I thought everybody would be equal here'

"No, she likes me best!"

Give a weed an inch and it'll take a yard.

The man of the hour is the guy whose wife asked him to wait a minute.

Young Girl: 'Oh YEAH?! Well my Mum's Toy Boy is YOUNGER than YOUR Mum's!'

'You can't tell me that new Lord Mayor isn't pro Europe...'

An ancient Roman gives the thumbs down using a big foam finger. The fight is between a lion dressed like a gladiator and wielding a large fork and a man with a spoon.

"I hope you're not a lawyer or a politician. We're trying to diversify down here."

Blagojevich Used Cars.

If your too wrapped in yourself, change into something casual.