Deskmate Prints

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"I heard they mate for life."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Complete Makeover

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

Master of the Universe meets the sugar plumb fairies

Band Practice

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

'I want to be yummy mummified.'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"She's all surgery and he's all pharmacy."

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

"Good morning, folks, this is Captain Holwood from the flight deck. We'll be cruising at thirty-five thousand feet today, and I'll be finally taking control of my life, struggling to satisfy the needs of only one person—me!"

'When I call for the time and temperature, they say 'Who wants to know?''

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

Cymbal player has a bruised nose from playing his instrument.

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

"I donut know what I'd do without him."

"You seem to be taking personal responsibility for everything except your bill."

"Can't do 3 p.m. — I'm scheduled for a migraine."

"Have you ever thought of your needs first?"

"The Five Major Warning Signs of Baldness."

Bob begins every day with Tie Chi

"I want an easy to care for style that's also a desperate cry for help."

"Right from the top but who ever finishes first get the drinks in."

"Of course I know Jim. We once built a time machine together. We go way back."

Internet Dating Agency's - The download to your heart