Desk Humor Enthusiast Gifts

How are you enjoying the job? I love the job. It's the work I hate.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Golfing Boss

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Work Parfait

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."