Designer Dog Diva T-Shirts

Village Pet Shop.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Dog Dressed to Eat

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

Why Poodles Become Killers

Kensington Fluffies

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Bernice Mountain Dog

Curtains haberdashery

Artist chained to his drawing.

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'Wait! Those shoes are perfect to wear just once...!'

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

'Amazing! But when we go on holiday one suitcase is too heavy for you.'

What female dogs think about their looks.

'Don't wear that shirt in the garden dear. Roses don't fit in with my planting scheme'

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

Cats and Dogs.

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

"We'd like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand on a handbag."

'Alright, you can wear them in the house, but don't you dare go outside!'

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'We couldn't agree on the wallpaper.'

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

Shoe Whore

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

'Oh Mike, what have they done to you?'

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."