Designer Diva T-Shirts

"Jimmy Choo, Mahnolo Blahnik- honestly can't taste the difference."

'Of course it's more than we can afford - you want us to lose our image in the neighbourhood?'

'They're worth more than our house.'

'£800. How can you hide this from your husband?'

"Does my overdraft look big in this?"

'Amazing! But when we go on holiday one suitcase is too heavy for you.'

Stella McCartney

Chanel Bags at Dawn

"I don't care how much emotional baggage a man carries, as long as it's Gucci."

"And hideously priced!"

'I'm all for belt-tightening, darling. Trouble is I can't decide which belt - Prada or Gucci?'

2...how much it costs to go in there?'

Some people have so much money, they're retarded.

"Graham! There's a woman in my wardrobe and she's creasing my Versace!"

Kensington Fluffies

'Your mother's been on strike since we discovered her secret cache of designer shoes.'

'Wait! Those shoes are perfect to wear just once...!'

'Does my overdraft look big in this?'

Shoe Whore

Prince.

"We'd like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand on a handbag."

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Home depot."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

Little Princess.

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

Framed Lady

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"