Desert Dwellers T-Shirts

"I'd like a full canteen with lemon."

'I can't remember a day this hot, can you?'

"We have to move closer to civilisation: I can't cope with the home-schooling Maths curriculum anymore..."

'Shop Local - Christmas Trees.'

'of course it is. It's always for one of the kids.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Mohammad's motors

"Come and get it!"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

OM, SWEET OM

'We can't really play Hide and Seek, there's nowhere to hide on the plains...'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"The Cheshire Cactus"

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

"Efficiency tombs available"

'I'm really thirsty.'

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

'You folks just sit right there and I'll go kill some hors d'oeuvres.'

"Crap. I overslept."

Farmer reads newspaper headline 'Drought Hits Midwest'; sees sand dunes and camel caravan through window.

Man crawls out of avalanche to see two rescue dogs relaxing.

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

Early American Think tank

'Don't just stand there! Take me to your leader!'

'Hey, scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.'

'Ma, come see what just crawled out of the woodpile.'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."