Dental Delight Pillows

"Admit it - you HAVE been flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies, haven't you?"

"Shake! Good Dog."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

Chocs away.

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'You tell me how he does it.'

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

Working at a brewery.

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"Now I'm going to offer a second opinion."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

"Jimmy Choo, Mahnolo Blahnik- honestly can't taste the difference."

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

children mistake fireplace ornament for someone stuck up the chimney

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

Active Yogurt Culture

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

Farmer Pickles Present.

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."