Dental Checkup Reminder Gifts

Molar was always scared of going to the dentist.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Take up some light exercise or a sporting activity - as a football perhaps."

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."

Patient sees smiling doctor and mean-looking doctor: 'Oh, I get it ? it's the old good cholesterol/bad cholesterol routine.'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."

'You're not totally out of shape - you have a very muscular tongue.'

Man checks the gears in his chest.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with his lungs anyway."

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Your results show you have the body of a young man, unfortunately it's an very obese young man with chronic health problems."

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, the doctor will see you about your insomnia now.'

"Smoke, drink and womanize as much as you like but don't forget to update your will..."

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."