Dental Check-up T-Shirts

'I'm afraid I have bad news for you. That sweet tooth has got to come out.'

"The dentist will see you in just a minute."

'Just relax. If your job is breaking up pavement with a jack hammer, this should be a piece of cake.'

'Okay, who's next? Hey! Where'd everybody go?'

'. . . And that's another out out, with stumps flying.'

'Don't forget to brush your teeth.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

Nervous Oral Testing

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

Toothbrush Romance

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

Tooth fairy

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."