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'Keep still, this won't hurt a bit.'

The Hockey Puckey

'Would you like to take advantage of our 'painless dentistry option'?'

'This is going to be a level three.'

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

"No, no... she's the dentist! I'm the dental assistant!"

"This may hurt, so I'm going to sedate your wallet."

"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"

'Jack fell down and broke his crown.'

"Gee, this is like pulling teeth."

'My assistant just quit. Said you were looking at her funny.'

'We're all out of Novocain, so we need to restrain your arms and legs.'

'You should have come to me sooner.'

"Of course - as a private patient you'd get little extras-like anaesthetic..."

As orthodontist Phil Glomley progressed with each patient, his assistant would add a proportional amount to the model of his beach house.

'The candy manufacturers and the dentist agree on one thing. My mouth's commercial.'

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

Fire/Dental Insurance Policy - "If your teeth ever go up in flames you'll be completely covered."

'What! Nobody thought to bring a drill?'

'You'll have to make do with those until yours come back from the service department.'

'£60 for pulling a tooth. Isn't that a bit much?' - 'Yes, but your yelling chased away some of our clients.'

"Whoopsy."

'Joan, can you check the suction settings...?'

Dentist reading 'Dentistry for Dummies'.

'We're ready, Tony, start your engine!'

"Sharon, if we can fit another mirror in there it will look like his teeth go on forever."

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'That's the second gold tooth he's swallowed.'

D.D.S. I can't fill the cavity because another tooth is in the way. A molar eclipse!

Dentist Suction

Spin dentistry; 'Don't worry...these new teeth can be trained to speak in any language!'

The bad news is that your teeth are shot. The good news is that you have the uvula of a man half your age.'

Just to mess with his patients' heads...

"What happened is between you and me. Quit taking it out on the patients."