Demon Wrangler T-Shirts

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

"I hate being considered the lesser of two evils."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

The Baby Walker

"What did you download at school today?"

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

King kong 5 G.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

The First Day Back

Cow Pilot.

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Automation of Security

Nanny with children on leash

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"About time they did something about the rats!"

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"Henceforth I don't want you to start any new projects without consulting Professor Frankfurter or myself!"

"Are you sure they don't include children?"