Democracy Enthusiasts T-Shirts

The ballot box.

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

'I'm fed up with being told we're all too dim to manage any but the simplest of voting systems.'

"We took a vote. We're sitting this one out."

"Wait - we can vote?"

'I wanted to show them what a patriot I am, but they wouldn't let me vote!'

Tramp Voter

Election Maze

"Well, your holiness, I think that's very unfair. . ."

"Good boy."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

Oligarchy

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

Dialogue

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Skeptic Tank.

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."