Delay Survivor Gifts

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Emergency Pants

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'We're in a hurry.'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'What luck!'

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

Welcome centre

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

Women castaways are joined on the island by ugly men.

'Your turn.'

Deflating Island

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

"It's from, The Environmental Protection Agency. They're fining us for polluting the ocean with messages in plastic bottles!"

"And I was most disappointed with last sunday's offertory."