Defensive Tactician T-Shirts

"Watch this bloke, lads, if there's a hole in the wall he'll find it."

Alternative fielding positions

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

Football.

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

ISIS needle in a haystack.

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"Call it wishful thinking, but I don't think this peace will last. . . ."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Goalie Wall.

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"We're fighting them in zone A, they're our allies in zone B, and we don't know what to do in zone C."

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

Kamakasi pilot instructor

'Quick! Play dead!'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"However, now, gentlemen, we see the frown has become a smile."

GREENLAND

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'