Defensive Driver T-Shirts

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

'See what I mean? - Look how close that woman driver is driving in front of me!'

'I certainly don't get tailgated anymore!'

How was my emergency stop?

Why'd that guy look at me? I'm driving just fine! Maybe he hates my shirt. This is my favorite shirt, pal! I'll bet it's my nose. It's not that big! Jerk! Overly defensive driving.

Team Leader

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Better times ahead.

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Exit Next Left

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'God's speed.'

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are