Defender Of Numbers Pillows

Benefit mistakes cost one billion a year. Well in our defence we did get a lot of the numbers correct,they just weren't in the right order.

The Life of Pi

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Staff Yearbook

But under a different accounting convention ...

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Warning: Math Ahead!

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

Reign Man

Freedom of Speech

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

'You're not just a number to me, Abercrombie -- you're an irrational number!'

57th Birthday balloons

"Profits are up 20%, but unfortunately costs are up 50%."

'I'm warning you, buster -- I'm wearing Wonder Woman underwear!'

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

Three steps to turn around the economy.

'You appear to be a very honest and ethical applicant. Are you sure you're in the right office?'

'The good news is we've readjusted our expectations.'

'I used to be dull and boring then, one day, I discovered accountancy.'

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

'How would you describe yourself?'

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

"Don't fall for it, Dogman!"

'Miss Soule, I'm curious. How many numbers were there when you were my age?'