Defender Of Education Pillows

Malala Yousafzai

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Common Core Family Therapy

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Budget

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

Another shot heard round the world.

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

'Lessons have been learned.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

New dunce caps

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'