Advocate For Education Reform Pillows

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

'You want the committee to study overcrowding in schools? They meet over there in the broom closet.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Budget

Staff Yearbook

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

Another shot heard round the world.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

Gold versus Knowledge