Deep-sea Doctor Gifts

"I wanted you to meet our colon specialist before we miniaturized him."

"Touché"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

What if Pirates Were Born With Their Wooden Leg?

'Silent type, eh?'

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

On board the MS Hepatology

"He's chasing the White Whale, as usual."

Shark Chum

Two divers sword fighting under water with swordfish

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"I see you've come prepared for an in-depth interview."

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

Diver with metal detector thinks he has located treasure but he has located atomic waste.

'Have you been under much pressure lately, Mr. Verne?'

"What should we do today? Swim against the tide or go with the flow?"

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

The Deep Thinker

'I've been under a lot of pressure.' (Diver on therapist's couch).

'Something tells me we're close!'

Pearl Fishers

"How many times have I told you not to bring your work home?"

Scientists find a giant plug in the ocean - 'I don't know what it means either, but for Pete's sake don't touch it!'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

'When did you last have your pressure checked?'

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

'How was your holiday? Go anywhere interesting?'

Scuba texting

'Oceanographers go home'

'Judging by all the barnacles on you, I think you may have spent a little too much time down there.'

"I can clearly see from the colour of your rings that your have some anger issues...!"

Pirate Doctor