Deep Conversation Gifts

"The question, Leon, is: What is man?"

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Very Difficult Conversations

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

So you're a mocking bird...

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"How about a hand."

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”