Dedicated Online Shopper Pillows

'You've got to give Tom credit. When he's searching for parts for his car online, nothing bothers him...and I mean nothing!'

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

How Amazon was invented

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Terms and conditions

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"What's the cheapest thing we can order and still get a box?"

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

"You get one every time you order something online."

You Shouldn't Have

"It looked different on the internet."

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

The Evolution Of Man - Hunt and Gather/Point and Click

'Enough EBAY already!'

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

"Ah, sweatpants."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

"I'm just checking eBay to see if there's any movement on that new liver you need."

"It's just not the same."