Decoy Collector Gifts

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Do you buy cars here?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Acme Flyswatters.

James May

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'