Decorated Hero Pillows

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

Keyworker

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Everyone has to do their share. . . I've always been known as a good worker. . . whew. . .Gotta keep going, no time to rest now."

Boozing and Cruising

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Planner at work.

"Sloth is a sin."

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

Soldier's medals continued on back.

Man of steel wool.

Military General with numerals medals and uniform decorations with 'cont. on back' sign.

'And this one I got for the improvements I made in camouflage.'

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

Husband does the housework

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

Human Dust Buster

oh no - here comes the national trust again...

"Take it easy - that one's attached to my nipple."

"Honestly I'm not sure what most of them are for."

"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"You weren't kidding, those are just tiny pictures of your grandkids!"