Decorated Hero Pillows

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

Keyworker

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Everyone has to do their share. . . I've always been known as a good worker. . . whew. . .Gotta keep going, no time to rest now."

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

Boozing and Cruising

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

"He's retreated into nationalism."

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Planner at work.

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

Military General with numerals medals and uniform decorations with 'cont. on back' sign.

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

"Sloth is a sin."

Husband does the housework

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

Human Dust Buster

oh no - here comes the national trust again...

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

"Take it easy - that one's attached to my nipple."

'I'm going to use it to write letters to keep our health benefits, son...we veterans have a new battle when we get back.'

"You weren't kidding, those are just tiny pictures of your grandkids!"

"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"Honestly I'm not sure what most of them are for."