Decor Whiz T-Shirts

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

Toast: the high energy food

Unfinished Funiture Store.

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Mulch madness"

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Face Painting.

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"