Decor Dweebs Gifts

'You want a moat?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Emergency Hipster Beard

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

Framed Lady

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Christmas Presents.

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Baby squirrel & Berries

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

Reindeer

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

Christmas Hugs

Pillows in love.

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"This little snow globe isn't just a paperweight...it was the original business model!"

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

"We're out of flowers."