Decor Dweebs Gifts

'You want a moat?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Framed Lady

Christmas Presents.

Baby squirrel & Berries

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

Christmas Hugs

Pillows in love.

Reindeer

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"This little snow globe isn't just a paperweight...it was the original business model!"

"We're out of flowers."

"Michaelangelo the order is clear, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia."