Decision Juggernaut Pillows

'Do we have your commitment?'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

That party went well.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

Medieval headlines.

The Working Mum

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Communication Breakdowns

I called you to this synergistic ideation to strategize methods of creating new annoying words.

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

I'm sorry, but your drug screen results disqualify you as an employment candidate, You see, sample 'A' is a normal brain, sample 'B' is a normal brain on drugs, and sample 'C',,, Well, Mr, Dumpty, sample 'C' is your brain,

Sports Lawyers

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

'Finally some good news on the economy: four out of five economists agree that 80% if economists agree.'

"I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot."

"In a nutshell, my career goal is to nurture my unique personhood in a culturally diverse, progressive business environment, while also honoring the traditional values of back-stabbing, greed and global plundering!"

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

"Impressive resume. But can you make coffee?"

IN OVER MY HEAD

"See this thingamabob attached to your whatchamacallit? That’s the doohickey I was afraid of."

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

"Great work, Smith. I must say, it's heartening to read a press release that both honors and builds upon the time-honored tradition of artisanal, hand-crafted gobbledygook!"