Deciding On Family Size Gifts

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

The No No No's

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'Someday, Mr. Nicky Copernicus, SOMEDAY you'll learn that the world doesn't revolve around YOU!'

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

'Mom! -- Spot's skinny-dipping again!'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

Elephant rides.

Dominant hand reveal party

A father of three

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

Reading in the family.

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

A little boy is crawling through a sandbox towards his mother as though he were dying of thirst in a desert.

Turn Down For What.

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'