Decades Gifts

"Oh God, I'm almost 30..."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

The No No No's

End the Winter Blues

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Mother Nature's Wild Ride 2007.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Dairy Devil

Log Ride

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

Houdini.

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

"Did I like it? It frightened me to death! I had to close my eyes four times, my stomach is in knots, and I'll probably have nightmares for a week!... I loved it!"

Parenting is... watching them sleep.

'Oooh, man! You really has me going with that fake shark fin!!'

"You said 'give me a cool hairstyle...' You never specified which decade."

"The 10th anniversary gift is tin. I got Ralph a new tinfoil hat. He's more sedate with the extra channels."

"I can't believe we've been married for 10 years and you never told me you had another leg!"

'These fairground rides are getting more exciting every year.'

"There doesn't seem to be an end to the Eighties revival."

I found the most amazing Youtube show. It's about an angel who helps people. Oh yeah? Yeah. And he drives around with some burly guy with a big beard. They wear '80s clothes and don't have any special effects. It's a perfect period show. Wait … are you talking about "Highway to Heaven"? That's not a period show, that was made in the '80s. Even you have to know that. Thanks for ruining it for me.

"You remind me of why I found the eighties wanting."

Feliz Navidad! Thanks for 10 great years!

"Relax. You're the one who wanted to stay at a theme resort"

"Finally, I can scream without bothering my neighbours."

Potty trainers hotline

U2: World's Laziest Band

'Now that you're 10, we can tell you the truth: beauty isn't actually in the eye of the beholder, there are international standards... and you haven't met them.'

"Easy on the cosmetics, dear. Use just enough so people say, 'See, you don't need makeup!'"